Don't Tell Anyone

I feel comfortable saying this here because few of my friends from school know about this blog. Those that do know will probably agree with me! I've been feeling this way for some time, but it really came to a head this weekend...in a nutshell, my Harvard friends are boring!

I know, I know, I shouldn't be surprised. It is Harvard after all, mecca to the academic nerd. But last year, when we were all starting out, we partied like rock stars! Our weekends started on Thursdays: we went to happy hours, went dancing, saw plays and concerts, saw friends do improv, hosted parties, went to parties.

But something has changed. This year, we barely see each other. A person will throw a party...on Saturday night, mind you...and people will bail because "they have too much work." Now, I go to the same school they do and I can't imagine having so much work that you can't go to a party on a Saturday night!

I didn't realize how strong my feelings were around this issue until this weekend. Friday was a beautiful day; Friday night was a beautiful night. I wanted to go out, but decided to stay in to catch up on some personal stuff. I did this specifically thinking that Saturday night there will be a bunch of people wanting to rock the casbah. Saturday night, my friend performed in a concert and invited me to meet up with some people at a bar. Perfect! I'll catch up with friends, we'll enjoy the night by going bar hopping in Harvard Square...very easy to do on a warm Saturday night. 

What happened?  Absolutely nothing! We sat in a very lame bar...which did have $3 glasses of wine...talking shop and then everyone left at 11pm. I couldn't believe it! Boston has had miserable weather since forever. This is the first time in months when it's been warm for more than 12 hours, and everyone is tired?!?

What really drove it home was I went to a bbq this afternoon at the home of a very old friend of mine. He and his family had about 20 people over: couples, single folk, kids, everybody. I met some really cool and funny people. As the night wore on and the families went home, there were about 10 people who still wanted to stay up talking and drinking and enjoying the fact that we were outside. After 7 hours, I finally left. You see? That's what I'm talking about. People who can put all this schoolwork shit in perspective and realize life is too short not to honor Mother Nature for granting us this great weekend. 

I have to say, I don't miss living in NYC in the least. It's far too crowded and fast and jaded for me at this point in my life. But I will say that New Yorkers know how to enjoy good weather. If I were back in the city, I know I would be out with old friends and/or meeting new ones.

Ah well...it is the choice I made. I'm thinking however, as I enter my third year of my doctoral program next fall, and don't have as many classes to tie me to the campus, that I'm going to really branch out and find friends with whom I connect on more than just the Harvard level...because that level is pretty uneven.

Something I Love...

I am slowly but surely falling in love with keeping things to myself. I have to say it's very fun to be my own confidant. It also makes me feel stronger.

I can't say more because I'm keeping it to myself! So fun!

On a random note: I was thinking back on all the guys I dated in my life...and goodness gracious, some of them were losers! I wonder what I was thinking back then. Being single is SO much better than hanging out with those wackos.

Oh yeah...did I mention I'm doing pretty well with my year of being single? I had a close call in February and March...Murphy's Law kicking in...but it's not going to work out. I am actually coming to enjoy enjoying singledom. I'm discovering that I spent SO much energy searching...just looking for that someone, that something that would supposedly make me whole. I didn't realized how tired I was until I stopped doing it. I'm still flirting and having crushes, but they serve as pure entertainment.

Good times!

Damn...

...I've got to get my financial house in order. I feel like I'm moving eight steps back than where I was two years ago. True, I had a full time job then, but still! There are still steps I can take to get on track. I'm getting too old for this shyt.

I Held a 4-Hour-Old Tonight

'Nuff said.

Change of Plans

I woke up today with a specific plan. Much of that plan had to do with tricking myself to get things accomplished...something I learned last week when I had my first appointment with my new academic advisor/therapist...long story that I'll explain later. I was going to put on my gym clothes before I went to my office hours so that I could head straight to the gym. I was going to spend my time during a meeting working on another paper.

But all that has changed...my very good friend is having a baby today, so all I have to do is be there for her. Simple, to the point, no tricks involved. Wish her luck!

One More Day

The house guest is here for only one more day...SO excited. I'm also dealing with some personal and personnel issues so I have to remind myself of the decisions I made earlier in the year. I need to trust myself more than I doubt myself.

I must say I am proud of myself. Last night was a bad one, but instead of moping in my sweats, I dressed up and went to my school's semi-formal dance. It ended up being a really good time and it meant a lot to the organizers that I was there, since I worked with them during the academic conference I helped organize. I think it made all the difference in my mood for the rest of the weekend.

Right now, I'm watching Key Largo (1948) on TV. I want to be better than it is...there's just a lot of speechifying going on. I'm not complaining however; there is no one in the apartment right now except for Ella and me. Wheuheu!

Yup...Still Here

At this point, I'm seeing the dude more than I see my roommate! I sent an email to her letting her know that I want the living room this Friday night. I was so passive aggressive that I'm a bit ashamed. I said that I know her man like to "veg out" in the living room and so I asked that he not be there. How sad that I have to reserve time in my own living room...

ADDENDUM: It's done! He broke an antique glass jar that I've owned for like 5 years. It was the perfect place to store sugar because it's airtight. This dude needs to go!