I'm Moving...Again

Guess what? I'm moving again. This will be the third apartment since I've moved back to Boston. Yes, that's right...third. One would think that I would be fazed by this development. Surprisingly I'm not. 

Perhaps it's because of the reasons behind this move. They are as follows:

1. My landlord is going to increase the rent. It's not by much, but it's enough to push it past the tipping point of "not worth it." 

2. The apartment has been having some issues as of late. Mold on the bathroom ceiling, kitchen sink plumbing on its last leg, basement overflowing with years of tenants' junk. The problem is that my landlord has said that she was going to fix these things for months and never has. Annoying.

3. Finally, I found out last week that this house is in preforeclosure. The process began in February. The thing is, I didn't find out via our landlord; I found out on the internet. Not cool. Not cool at all.

So I'm out. Even if the process takes a while, I just don't want to be anywhere near this because I'm at the bottom of the housing totem pole, which means I'll get shafted. I've already found a great apartment in my same neighborhood. It's $75/month cheaper with a fabulous kitchen, a huge room, and only one additional roommate. And it has a dishwasher! I'll be living with a dishwasher for the first time in my life!

Don't Tell Anyone

I feel comfortable saying this here because few of my friends from school know about this blog. Those that do know will probably agree with me! I've been feeling this way for some time, but it really came to a head this weekend...in a nutshell, my Harvard friends are boring!

I know, I know, I shouldn't be surprised. It is Harvard after all, mecca to the academic nerd. But last year, when we were all starting out, we partied like rock stars! Our weekends started on Thursdays: we went to happy hours, went dancing, saw plays and concerts, saw friends do improv, hosted parties, went to parties.

But something has changed. This year, we barely see each other. A person will throw a party...on Saturday night, mind you...and people will bail because "they have too much work." Now, I go to the same school they do and I can't imagine having so much work that you can't go to a party on a Saturday night!

I didn't realize how strong my feelings were around this issue until this weekend. Friday was a beautiful day; Friday night was a beautiful night. I wanted to go out, but decided to stay in to catch up on some personal stuff. I did this specifically thinking that Saturday night there will be a bunch of people wanting to rock the casbah. Saturday night, my friend performed in a concert and invited me to meet up with some people at a bar. Perfect! I'll catch up with friends, we'll enjoy the night by going bar hopping in Harvard Square...very easy to do on a warm Saturday night. 

What happened?  Absolutely nothing! We sat in a very lame bar...which did have $3 glasses of wine...talking shop and then everyone left at 11pm. I couldn't believe it! Boston has had miserable weather since forever. This is the first time in months when it's been warm for more than 12 hours, and everyone is tired?!?

What really drove it home was I went to a bbq this afternoon at the home of a very old friend of mine. He and his family had about 20 people over: couples, single folk, kids, everybody. I met some really cool and funny people. As the night wore on and the families went home, there were about 10 people who still wanted to stay up talking and drinking and enjoying the fact that we were outside. After 7 hours, I finally left. You see? That's what I'm talking about. People who can put all this schoolwork shit in perspective and realize life is too short not to honor Mother Nature for granting us this great weekend. 

I have to say, I don't miss living in NYC in the least. It's far too crowded and fast and jaded for me at this point in my life. But I will say that New Yorkers know how to enjoy good weather. If I were back in the city, I know I would be out with old friends and/or meeting new ones.

Ah well...it is the choice I made. I'm thinking however, as I enter my third year of my doctoral program next fall, and don't have as many classes to tie me to the campus, that I'm going to really branch out and find friends with whom I connect on more than just the Harvard level...because that level is pretty uneven.

Yup...Still Here

At this point, I'm seeing the dude more than I see my roommate! I sent an email to her letting her know that I want the living room this Friday night. I was so passive aggressive that I'm a bit ashamed. I said that I know her man like to "veg out" in the living room and so I asked that he not be there. How sad that I have to reserve time in my own living room...

ADDENDUM: It's done! He broke an antique glass jar that I've owned for like 5 years. It was the perfect place to store sugar because it's airtight. This dude needs to go!

Sound Advice

For those of you with roommates - regardless if you get along with him/her or not - hosting a house guest for a week and a half is TOO LONG!!! Especially if that house guest is your boy/girlfriend. Especially if that house guest is a complete slug on vacation who barely leaves the house.

Your roommate will feel like he/she is intruding no matter how often you say, "No! It's fine!" Your roommate will only feel comfortable in his/her room and will resent you for it. Not to say that you are responsible for the feelings of your roommate, but I'm just letting you know.

Worst off, your roommate will feel like he/she is living in the kitchen of the McDonald's of your relationship. He/She will see and hear things that make him/her sick, and can't do anything about it. He/She will notice how your girl/boyfriend is a complete baby who can barely do anything without you. Your roommate will get first hand experience with how grumpy your girl/boyfriend is in the morning. Your roommate isn't sleeping with your houseguest...he/she shouldn't have to deal with a pissy person that's not you.

So, next time you present the idea to your roommate that you want someone to stay with you for a long time, be aware that he/she will say, "Of course, it's fine!" But your roommate will really mean, "Oh God, no!"

If you cannot do anything about the extended visit, make it clear to your guest that he/she must try to get the hell out of the house every once in a while. That your roommate doesn't want to see your guest's face EVERY time your roommate comes home, no matter what time of the day or night.

Feel free to ignore this advice...but at your own peril.

Thank you.

I Gotta Tell Someone

Okay...

So for the next week, my roommate's boyfriend is here visiting. He's not just any boyfriend. They have been together five years; he used to live in this apartment with my roommate when he was getting his Ph.D.; they have had a long distance relationship for the past two years while he's working on the West Coast. They see each other maybe once every two months. So I do not begrudge my roommate having some quality time with him.

This apartment is indeed spacious, but it is clearly a two-bedroom. When someone is sitting at the kitchen table, they are taking up a lot of space, not to mention the counter top since we have none. There is only one bathroom with two hooks for towels. There is one TV. You see what I mean.

Anyway, I can get anal about some things...I admit that. One of those things is putting objects back in their place. Especially when space is limited, I am a stickler for returning food back to the pantry, throwing away trash left on the table, putting dirty dishes in the sink and not leaving them on the coffee table. Granted, the dishes don't have to be washed for days, just as long as they are getting crusty and moldy in the sink. And I admit, I don't have much patience with regard to this. That is, I want things in their rightful place right away. 

The boyfriend is clearly not a stickler for these things. So last night, while they were out at dinner, I put things away: dishes, paper towels, food. This morning, I woke up, walked Ella and went back up to my room to do work. They woke up and he started bitching that he couldn't find his coffee that he left on our limited counter space and I returned to the pantry. They thought I was gone, so they were talking at a normal voice and I could hear ever word they were saying. And I very distinctly heard him call me a "psycho bitch." My roommate - always the compassionate one - said, "No, no. She's not a psycho bitch." That made me laugh.

I just went downstairs to get some cereal. My roommate was still home and expressed surprise that I was still in the house. I told her that I had been here the whole morning and had been wide awake the entire time. The song beneath my words said that I heard everything they said.

So now I don't have to be nice to him anymore. I won't be a "psycho bitch" or anything, but now I don't have to deal with him if I don't want to. I can enter my house and pretend he's not there. Which is what I wanted to do anyway, I just didn't want to be rude. Now I have an excuse. I am a psycho bitch after all. :)

I Am Also a Woman, However

Being an adult is so confusing! Everything I wrote in my last post is absolutely true, but my friend just sent me this YouTube video that almost made me nauseous.

What the...?!?!?!

So I just heard about this new movie that actually premiered at Sundance last year and garnered an award for the lead actress, Jess Weixler. I don't know if I should be offended by this movie that tries to modernize an archaic, cowardly idea or be glad that someone is shedding light on this unspoken fear. Perhaps I would feel better if the film was made by a woman, and not the guy who starred in The Wedding Banquet. I must say, the website for the film is pissing me off: "Enter at Your Own Risk." That's some bullsh*t if you ask me. But then I did some more web surfing and found the poster you see here, which is a totally different marketing spin than the website.

I don't know what to think. I doubt this movie will make it to Boston, but if someone in NYC or LA sees it, please let me know what you think. Shucks, tell me what you think anyway!

In Today's News...

Two articles I found this morning on the Times website piqued my interest:

1. Antioch College is shutting its doors after 155 years. Founded by Horace Mann himself, that college has a fantastically progressive history: coeducating, desegregating, and hiring women in faculty positions well before the rest of the country. Sadly, I learned all of this this morning. The first and only thing I knew of Antioch was its sexual prevention policy that went into effect in 1993. That asinine policy stated that a person had to ask permission at every step of getting it on...every step. I was a sophomore at Wesleyan when I heard about this; I remembered feeling shame...the kind of shame you feel toward your uncouth cousins. As a proud student of "PCU," I felt that Antioch's new rules took political correctness to a tacky extreme. Who knew that it was the real "Diversity University?"
   
   
2. America is so stupid sometimes! Fox and CBS aren't going to run condoms ads perhaps because they promote pregnancy prevention, not disease prevention. They are afraid of the controversy around birth control, but they don't even have to balls to admit it. This article made me so angry for the networks' logic...or lack thereof. This is the best quote: “'We always find it funny that you can use sex to sell jewelry and cars, but you can’t use sex to sell condoms,” said Carol Carrozza, vice president of marketing for Ansell Healthcare, which makes LifeStyles condoms."

I'm sure there is a lot more in the news today, but now I have to get to work.

It's a C-O-N-spiracy!

Okay, I swallowed it when I found out construction on the New Target...the Target I was so excited about...was going be completed this fall...after I move to Massachusetts.

But this is the last staw...as I watched TV tonight, I heard the rumblings of a large truck on my street. Since my street is totally residential, I peeked out to see what was causing all the racket. It was a Fresh Direct truck! Ever since I moved here, I have petitioned Fresh Direct online to get them to come here. I had just about given up. And NOW, 5 weeks before I leave this place, Fresh Direct delivers!

It's a conspiracy created by the Man to drive me crazy!

P.S. I would love to link to websites and italize the way I normally do, but I'm using a Mac now and for some reason, it doesn't have the same toolbar on top of this window. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Another I Wish...

The WNYC Spring Pledge Drive ended last week. As usual, it was a pain in the ass. Yes, I said it! I can't stand the pledge drive...the same people say the same catch phrases and use the same techniques to guilt, cajole, bribe, and flatter you to give them money.

I gave them $100 back in October. I did it because 1) it's a TEENY price to pay for the insane amount of time I listen to that station and 2) I wanted the cool messenger bag. I realized this time around that my attitude toward the drive was more hostile because I had already given them money. Don't get me wrong...it's always a pain in the ass, but usually I feel guilty about thinking it's so. This time, I was just annoyed.

So I wish that they could do something where if you give the station money, you can register your radios so that you can avoid the rest of the pledge drive. All those 90% of public radio listeners who use it but don't pay for it will have to suffer through the pledge drive, but the 10% who do contribute get to avoid the pleas altogether. If they could perfect that technology, I bet you a BUNCH more people would pledge. Because I KNOW lots of people think the drives are a pain in the ass...not just me.

I'm Here...Just Overwhelmed

I got back from Jamaica on Monday night. It was a great time. I thought I would have to do "wedding work" for the entire time, but except for the first day and the wedding day, I vacationed along with everyone else. I got a great tan, ate some good seafood, hung out by the pool, laid on the beach, laughed a lot, partied even more. TM got burnt, but that was his own fault...thinking he could handle the Caribbean sun when he clearly couldn't. I think it was an excuse for me to rub his back with aloe oil twice a day.

Anyway, as soon as I got back to the city, LIFE hit me with full force. I have two months people! Two months and nothing is done...at least I feel like nothing is done. In addition, the idea of having Ella stay with her grandparents for the summer isn't going to work out, so I have to go pick her up early.

I just have to remind myself of the following:

1. Work becomes a great deal less stressful after next week.

2. I'm not alone. I have a true partner in TM.

3. I'm doing all of this to go to Harvard...some perspective, L. Britt!

It's Time for Some Competition

So I'm on a major money-making kick. Trying to raise some extra funds before I don't have any time to do so. I've had some items that I've wanted to put on eBay for a long time...so I decided to post them now. The last time I used eBay was 2004.

It's gotten SO much more complicated. It's takes like an HOUR to put one item up on the site. So many steps and questions! I've put one item up and I was so tired and burnt out, I didn't have the energy to put up the rest. I'm on a cycle where I'll put one item up every couple of days...that's all I have the patience for.

I'm thinking it's time for a competitive site to launch. One that does what eBay does...just a lot easier.

More Death and Other News

So TM's grandmother died in the middle of last night; it was expected, but it's still sad. He's seems fine, but when he's anything other than totally upbeat, he folds into himself. I can tell he's trying not to cut me out completely, but I can also tell it's a struggle. I'm learning to simply let him know that I'm here for him and let him be.

I've been struggling with a slight drowning feeling this week. National traumas and those that have affected people close to me have left a mark on me as well. It's strange because I don't think I reacted this strongly when my own aunt died. Maybe I am reacting this strongly to my aunt's death. Maybe this is how I'm able to deal...pour my condolences onto others.

I have to say this is the first time that I have felt this blue and not completely freaked out that I am becoming depressed again. I think I've gotten a LOT better at reading my emotions. I also think of Angela's advice: basically, she doesn't critique her emotions when she gets down...she just listens. And does what she wants/needs to make herself feel better. I think that's what I've been doing this week.

In other news, Ella is going for an extended vacation this weekend. My parents are coming for a visit and they are taking Ella with them so I don't have to put her in a kennel while I'm in Jamaica. It's not quite real to me yet. When it does become real, I will cry. Goodness gracious, I love that dog!

The wedding is almost here! I'm so excited! I can't wait for this whole thing to be over. I've learned through this process that being a maid of honor is a BIG deal. You not only need to be a very good party planner, but also a therapist, a personal assistant, a dry shoulder, a jester, possess nerves of steel and a lot of disposable income. Because a bride is a creature all her own. I was lucky that this wedding would never be on "Bridezillas," but she definitely had her moments. I'm not going to say something stupid like, "I'll never be like that!" But I think it should be a prerequisite for all brides to be a bridesmaid at someone's wedding...an internship of sorts.

I am officially running out of weekends. TM and I leave for Massachusetts in less than three months. There are certain friends who have invoked the NYC motto: "Let's get together." The problem is, I need to plan those get togethers. Because I don't have a lot of time and we have a lot to do. I keep trying to tell these certain friends this, but it's hard for them to get out the NYC mindset of complete-avoidance-of-definitive-plans- in-case-something-better-comes-along. Ah well, I plan on throwing a going away party in the summer...I guess I'll see them there.

There Are No Humans Left

My aunt died last night. She died of cancer of the lymph nodes. We knew it was going to happen because she had decided to stop treatment. She first got diagnosed with Hodgkin's about five years ago. She beat it...with the help of a stem cell transplant!...but it came back. She did a couple of rounds of chemo, but she made it clear that if those rounds didn't make a significant dent, she wasn't going to fight it.

They didn't make a dent.

We just didn't expect it to happen so fast. It was only about three months ago when she told us the cancer was back and only six weeks from when she made the decision to stop fighting. Of course, my aunt is was famous for being extremely private about information that you would think her family would want to know, so we will never know how far the cancer progressed before she decided to tell her sister and brother. No one except her husband knew she had cancer the first time until it was in remission for a year.

I wasn't close to my aunt. I had issues with some of the choices she made regarding our family. My mom says the reason is we were like oil and water was because we were so alike. I don't doubt it. Regardless, she was my mom's only sister, and with her death my uncle is the only one left of those my mom grew up with. My mom is only in her early 50s. My aunt was only in her mid-60s.

So my mom and I are in the process of trying to get down to Atlanta to attend the memorial service. I do the usual web search for cheap flights....yeah, not so cheap. Then I look into bereavement fares. I call US Airways, wait for 20 minutes to speak to a real person, just to be told that they no longer "do" bereavement fares. I was in shock! They make no accommodations for people who have to travel to bury their family. Feel free to write them angry emails. I then go to Delta's website and they say they have "no need" for bereavement fares because they have some special deal where last minute flights are already very cheap. The thing is...they're not. Not at all.

Luckily, my financial life is strong enough that I can pay for a flight without using my credit card, but the fact that these airlines don't even make a nominal gesture for those grieving is outrageous. I could barely stand to hear them cry poor to begin with...now I really have no patience for that crap.

Human beings may be overpopulating the Earth, but humanity is dying fast.

On another note, I realized this morning that three members of my mom's family have died of cancer. That side of the family isn't that big. And yet, when I see all the commercials and stories about cancer, I never take them personally. Perhaps because I don't think they are talking to me. I'm realizing perhaps I have the impression that cancer...at least the cancer they talk about in movies-of-the-week...is a white disease. The black community doesn't die of cancer in the media. It dies of...gunshot wounds, drug overdoses. Or it lives to a ripe old age to give words of wisdom to "lost souls," usually white lost souls.

But cancer is a big part of my family history. Hmmm...I gotta think about this some more.

Is It Just Me...

...or is Daylight Savings Time messing with lots of people? I'm feeling very tired quite often. It's much better than it was at the beginning of the week, but I'm still not 100%.

Congress can't just mess with people's internal clocks like this!

The BBC World News is Not Helping International Relations

I appreciate WNYC's attempt to bring us New Yorkers a sense of what's going on in the rest of the world by broadcasting "BBC World News." However, the anchors of that program do nothing but infuriate me. They ask the stupidest questions and when their subject doesn't reply with an adequately alarmist answer, the anchors make it seem like it's the guest that is in denial. Not only that, but they are often rude and disrespectful.

Case in point: yesterday, the male anchor...something Bennett-Jones...interviewed a bunch of people about the sharp decrease in the Chinese market and how it affected the rest of the world markets. Everyone he interviewed - from the finance correspondent in London to the small investor in India - all said the same thing. You go into the stock market for the long term not the short, a dip like this is more like a correction because many stocks were overpriced, everything will be fine, blah, blah, blah. You could hear the disappointment in Bennett-Jones' voice. He kept asking the most non-specific, ill-informed questions hoping to freak someone out or rile someone up. But no one took the bait.

I imagine this is what it must feel like to listen to Rush Limbaugh or watch Bill O'Reilly.

Waaaaahhhh!

I've had a crazy long day and what's worse...I've had a long day on a Saturday!

Anyway, I'm tired and cranky and wish that The Mormon was here.

It's probably for the best. I just want to throw a temper tantrum...there's no need for anyone else to see that.

I'll just paint my nails.

Lack of Self-Awareness is So Annoying!

So some librarians have their underwear all bunched up over the use of "scrotum" in a children's book. Not just any children's book, mind you...a Newbery Award-winning children's book. Of course, The Times has an article about it. These librarians are censoring the book from their shelves. I don't care what they argue, a librarian banning access to a book is censorship, plain and simple.

The thing is...the reason why they are banning the book have nothing to do with children, whom librarians are claiming to protect.

“I think it’s a good case of an author not realizing her audience,” said Frederick Muller, a librarian at Halsted Middle School in Newton, N.J. “If I were a third- or fourth-grade teacher, I wouldn’t want to have to explain that.”

It's about the adults who deal with children not wanting to have conversations about the body with children. It's about their own squeamishness, not the child's.

"Andrea Koch, the librarian at French Road Elementary School in Brighton, N.Y., said she anticipated angry calls from parents if she ordered it. “I don’t think our teachers, or myself, want to do that vocabulary lesson,” she said in an interview."

Yet, these people rant and rave about the fact that they are the ones thinking about children when the author is not. Even though the point of the story apparently is the child growing up by learning about the body!

Ridiculous!

"A Case of the Mondays"

I watched a little bit of Office Space yesterday. That is one funny flick.

So, I'm not really in the mood to start really working, but I have to look like I am, so I will write a post about what's going on in my head right about now.

1. I saw Children of Men Saturday night. What a film! It was crazy intense and very depressing. Uncomfortable to watch because of how timely many of its images are and how many questions are left unanswered. Oddly, I didn't feel frustrated by that. The hardest thing about that film is that you are left with a bit of hope that's not cheesy, deus ex machina hope. Cuaron made it organic to the story, so you can't write it off as a lame plot device. On "All Things Considered," Cuaron said that he did that to ask the audience what we are going to do with that hope. What to do indeed. Clive Owen is still hot in this flick...even in flip-flops.

2. Love is boring. Yup, I said it. Real, lasting love is peaceful and simple. It's not roller coaster-esque, or euphorically high all the time. It definitely isn't nerve-wracking. For me, love just feels comfortable. Not lazy, like the old, paint-splattered pants you wear around the house. More like your favorite dress pants: the ones that you don't have to suck in your stomach for and hang just right over your bum. The ones you can wear with heels or flats and any top. The ones that make you feel confident and sexy. That kind of comfortable.

This is definitely new information for me. I used to think that love was all walking on Cloud 9 and feeling sick to my stomach in a good way. Or all about creating and passing tests to prove the love. But if someone from the outside were to look at The Mormon and I, you would think we were mad boring. And that's just fine by me 'cuz I am happy.

3. I am pissed off at our government! I can't believe they are even attempting to lay the groundwork to screw with any other country in the Middle East. Part of me doesn't even care what Iran has done...how dare they present "evidence" that may justify another invasion! What a wuss George W. is! He just lets Cheney lead him around like a freakin' puppet! Jeez, this President needs therapy.

4. I think it's stupid for Obama to attempt to quit smoking as he runs for President. However, he's totally screwed no matter how you look at it. If he keeps smoking, issues like teen smoking and health care are going to be sticky wickets for him because he'll look like a hypocrite. If he quits, he's going to be cranky and irritable and may make a gaff. If he gets caught cheating while he says he's quitting, it will become a major character flaw that his opponents will exploit all out of proportion.

5. Being a Maid of Honor is SO not what it's cracked up to be. I think when I get married, I will have a committee. I will have some friends help me pick the dress, other people plan the parties, and still others help me the day of. Spread out the labor, you know? Wedding planning always seems to get more complicated than the bride expects, which means it gets more complicated for her bridal party. Just imagine if her bridal party is one person!

6. I know that "This American Life" is all busy with their new Showtime series, but I have to say, I'm quite annoyed with the amount of repeats it's been broadcasting.

7. Did I tell you guys that Ex now has a son? I found out about it a couple of weeks ago, though the baby was born last summer. I was surprisingly zen about it. I thought it would hit me hard, like when I found out he was engaged. But it didn't hurt at all. Trust me, I checked in with myself a few times. I feel crazy sorry for that kid and I am thrilled I am not that baby's momma, and I'm also happy for Ex. I know that he was keen on being a dad, so I'm glad he got his wish.

8. Oh! I am so happy that a woman is going to be the president of Harvard. I've read one article about her and she sounds really interesting. I think I'll do some more research on her...maybe read one of her books.

9. I am very proud of P.D. James. She is the author of the book that the movie I mentioned above is based on. Vaslav and I are big fans of her detective fiction. I had heard that she was the author of the book, but it didn't click that it was the P.D. James until I saw her name in print. Yea, P.D.!

I think that's it. I've actually been doing work while I've created this post...so much for putting things off.

I'm Getting Tired Already

I know the racial issues being brought to the fore by Sen. Obama's possible political run are well overdue for discussion. I know these American assumptions on race and class are so necessary to bring to light. But I just read yet another article about something stupid someone else said and I feel physically exhausted.

Don't get me wrong, it is a brilliant article. It talks about the racism imbued in the word "articulate" when used to describe a black person. I really don't think the problem, the perspectives, and a possible solution could have been written any better. I especially like the part where a Brown professor points out that Rev. Sharpton is extremely articulate, just speaks with a cadence that is rooted in a black tradition; therefore he is heard as inarticulate.

However, it doesn't bode well when I'm already so tired of these articles that have to be written to educate ignorant, racist people under the guise of "open dialogue." I know it has to happen. I just wish it didn't.

I think I need to look for more articles that simply say something like...You are an idiot, Sen. Biden! And anyone who didn't even blink when they read/heard his quote is even more of an idiot!

No, that article will not further the discourse, nor will it lead to more cultural understanding or healing. But boy, would it make me feel better!