Staff meetings make me angry. It's not like they are super long and they aren't a waste of time, but for some reason I dread going to them and I leave them feeling irate. This time I came back to my office and thought about why I hate the meetings so much and why I am so angry afterwards.
What I've come up with is that the staff meetings highlight that I am the only black person on the staff, and one of two women. I am the only woman that is not in an administrator support position. What's worse...everyone else is a white male. And there is such a comraderie between them that they don't even try to include anyone else in on.
For instance, the head of my department said that he and I need to set up a meeting in his office to do my yearly review. He then told two other bigwigs that he could do their review over a beer...since they were already friends. Hmmmm....I wonder who's going to get one of those very rare merit raises this year? I have to say, I don't think I'm necessarily in the running this year regardless, but it just sucks that the director flaunts his favoritism so blatantly.