The 5 Question Interview, Part 2

You can find out why I'm writing this post here. These questions were asked of me by tuckergurl. This is a very scary exercise, but you just can't turn away.

1. Have you and The Rover talked about what raising multi-racial kids will be like? She meant TM...she'd had some red wine as she wrote these.
Surprisingly no. We've talked about the values we want to impart to them and who will be the disciplinarian, but we haven't talked about the racial/cultural component. I think - without knowing it - that my dad and stepmom...who's white...are my guides. As far as I see, they don't "prep" my brother to be biracial. They face problems from without as they come up with no shame, and they have taught him about his family his entire life. Of course, they are very fortunate to live in a tolerant community, but race has never been a "thing."

So I'm hoping to adopt that philosophy. I am not so naive to think that race won't be an issue by the time my child comes into the world. As I write this, I'm realizing I believe that biracial people...of any combination...are more accepted by society that straight black people. Huh. I have to think about this.

2. If you could have any occupation in the world (other than the one you have), what would it be?
I have two answers. I would either:

• run a small theatre company of quality in a community that really values theatre, or
• be a camp counselor in Maine.

3. If you could spend a night with one celebrity, who would it be?
So many are coming to mind! Wait a minute! I'm ashamed it took me this long...Channing Tatum, of course! God, that would be good stuff!

4. What is your biggest regret?
I had one answer for this for years, but writing it doesn't seem right. Huh...again. I think I may have forgiven myself for that one. I think my biggest regret is not going through with breaking up with Ex during our trip to Miami 7 months into our relationship. I actually told him that I wanted to break up because he didn't seem to accept me as I was. But then we made up...sort of. I should have kept walking.

5. What's your favorite movie?
There are SO many. But I guess I would have to say Dirty Dancing. That one has the strongest emotional tie for me. I can remember that film in a way I remember no other.

To All the Haters

I am a big fan of the Harry Potter novels and films. They aren't high art or anything, but they are fun, and after six books and five movies, I feel like I know the characters really well.

For a while, I have made discreet comments declaring how hot Daniel Radcliffe is becoming. Yes, I know he isn't even legal, but that doesn't make him any less hot. I would never do anything with my lust, but I thought his blossoming hotness was important to note. Anytime I said anything, I was met with scorn and disapproval. Shame on you! said the judgemental eyes of those around me...he's just a child!

Well, to all those who doubted me...feast your eyes on this! Not only is Daniel starring in a most adult play, he is looking quite...dare I say...hot doing so!

I will start accepting apologies on this post. Thank you.

My Ode to The Rover

This post is being written at an airport terminal, where many of The Rover's brilliant musings have been created. My flight has been delayed over an hour because they are waiting for the flight crew. It's my own fault because I am flying Delta. I know, I know...tuckergurl warned us all that Delta sucks, but it was the cheapest flight by far. I guess you get what you pay for.

Where am I go, you ask? I'm going to Buffalo. Be careful what you wish for is the lesson here. If you recall, the amazing man with whom I spent a weekend lives in Buffalo. At the time, all I wanted was for him to invite me to visit him so we could see each other again. Well, he did. Of course, it was after the pedestal upon which I had placed him crumbled and I actually got a good look at him.

There is absolutely no ill will. I actually feel fortunate that it all went down the way it did. I learned a lot about where I'm at spiritually and I came to a wonderful realization about how I view men.

For as long I can remember, men have always been my saviors or my destroyers. It's a position I put them in...any guy I meet is either the second coming here to change my life or the epitome of evil who wants nothing more than to annihilate me. Granted, I have been in relationships with very damaged men, however, I can't really remember a guy just being a guy trying to figure shit out like me. This pattern of behavior came into stark relief during my encounter with The Man from Buffalo. Once I learned that about myself, everything became so clear and I became so calm. My encounters with TMFB lost all sense of desperation as I started to see the situation in its entirety and see him for who he is. We did have a wonderful connection that weekend; he is still extremely good-looking in my eyes. He is a good person; he is still a little too pompous for my taste. But I can honestly say, it's all good.

I guess my interactions with him via email and the phone reflected this shift because he did indeed invite me to come visit him in Buffalo for a weekend of fall festivals, pumpkin carving and football watching. I'm looking forward to getting out of the city and seeing foliage uninterrupted by buildings.

Note: This trip was sponsored by Michael Bloomberg, who has instituted the $400 tax rebate for all homeowners in the city for the third year in a row. Thanks, Mike!

Letting Off the Steam

Angela has agreed...after much begging and pleading...to see A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints with me tonight. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it. However, the only way she would see it with me is if I kept my cool during the film. So in order to do so, I will now gush here about the hottest hottie I've seen in a long while: Channing Tatum.

He is SOOOOOO hot, I lose my shit every time I see him. I wanted to see another of his films, Step Up, because I'm a sucker for dance movies...see my love for Dirty Dancing...but I was blown away by the hotness that was Channing. That movie was horrible, but he was by far the best thing in it, aesthetically and talent-wise. Even his big ears are hot to me. His body is ri-DIC-ulous, he can move and he can kiss...all things he did in abundance in the movie. When I saw the preview for A Guide... during The Science of Sleep, I started hyperventilating a little bit.

Does that ever happen to you? There is a person on-screen who is so attractive that it becomes painful to watch? I've had that experience two times that I can remember: seeing Oded Fehr in The Mummy II and seeing Takeshi Kaneshiro in House of Flying Daggers. You have to look away because just the sight of the person gets you hot and bothered.

This film is going to be good; I'm pretty confident that the story, the characters and the performances are all really strong. However, I'm thrilled for the opportunity to see Channing in a real movie, to see if my lust for him can turn into love of his acting ability. I'm sure I'll see him all beat up and evil; I think I will lust for him more because of it.

But I will just have to squeeze the armrest for support. Angela will not see me sweat!

Update: The movie was uneven. Angela and I both agreed that it was definitely a first film...a very good first film, but a first film nonetheless. The director's strength lie in his ability to pull performances out of young actors. The heart and soul of the movie are in the young ensemble. Dito is fortunate because he got such a talented cast; anyone less apt and the movie would have been unwatchable.

My Channing is a good actor. So not only did he look AMAZING...and even that word in all caps doesn't do his hotness justice...but he created a compelling, nuanced character effortlessly. He is just so natural....naturally SEXY!!!

Gratitude and Hope

Let me start out by saying that I have probably doomed myself by proclaiming my thoughts and feelings about this man. I have this nagging pattern of ruining potential by merely mentioning my interest. But this one caught me off guard. I didn't plan on "interest," just a fun night.

I just finished writing seven paragraphs about how we met, how much fun we had, etc. I deleted it all. It's not doing my experience justice. This man is unlike anyone I've ever met. He is on a path to deeper self-awareness and spirituality...and he misses the fact that he can't watch "SportsCenter" in the morning with his new work schedule. He likes to analyze his thoughts and actions just like I do...and he is a horn dog! He can go out and down some beers with the fellas...and he knows the name of every tree in my neighborhood.

Very long story short: I took him home on Friday night, we ended up talking and talking some more on Saturday morning. We saw each other again on Sunday and it felt right as rain.

Now I am all flummoxed. We connected...but I don't know what it means. I know I will hear from him again. But I don't know if I will ever see him again. And though I am hesitant to admit this...I really want to see him again. One of the many wonderful things he shared with me was that in order to attract more, I need to appreciate what I have. So instead of looking beyond myself...I should just sit still and be thankful. I'm taking that gift to heart.

Can I be appreciative and still want him to invite me to Buffalo?

Wow.

That's really all I can say. I had an amazing weekend. I'm more than a little freaked out by how high I'm floating right now. I need today to process and get my feet back on the ground. I'll provide details tonight once I've decompressed.

A little hint: a cross between Ben Affleck and Lance Armstrong...with a body like the latter, and the sensibility of no one I've ever met. Tee hee!

I Heart Turner Classic Movies

I love this station so much. It makes having cable completely worth it. They play great old movies with NO commercials! More than anything else, it's this station that makes me want to get a flat screen TV. I just finished watching a great movie with Bette Davis and Glenn Ford called A Stolen Life. I never really dug Bette, except for when she was in All About Eve. But I totally dug her in this flick. She plays twin sisters and the way they shot her playing two characters was pretty impressive, especially for 1946.

Now I'm watching Gilda with Rita Hayworth and Glenn Ford. (TCM is honoring Glenn Ford because he died a couple of weeks ago.) Oh my God, Rita is HOT in this film! I can't think of one modern actress that's as smokin' on screen as Rita is in this movie. I am so not a lesbian, but DAMN...I would convert for her! She and Glenn are amazing together. I can't take my eyes off them...good thing I know how to type without looking.

My Sunday Musings

It's official. Sunday is my musing day...I'm always contemplative and introspective on this day. Often I am sad/depressed on this day, but I've learned to just ride the wave.

So what am I thinking about this Sunday?

• I'm thinking about the almost violent reaction I felt when I read that Single Ma was dating someone. I don't know this woman at all, yet I feel so connected to her because she has helped me with a huge part of my life. She wrote a post about wanting to start another blog about more personal matters, including her new beau. I don't know why, but a huge wave of jealousy rushed over me. It didn't seem like Single Ma had time to date! But, then again, I don't know anything about her life. I know this isn't the reality, but it feels like everyone has something real happening in their love life except me. You know what I want for my birthday: to fucking be at fucking peace with the fact that I am fucking alone!
  

• I'm getting a 7% raise, starting in about 10 days. I did the math on what it means to my biweekly paycheck...and it doesn't mean that much. But I want to use this to revamp the way I work with my money. I'm going to start reusing a budget again in September, writing expenses down, stuff like that. September will also be the first month in a long time that I'm not catching up on late payments to my mortgage...first time I'm admitting that. Falling behind on my mortgage has really screwed with my credit score, so I'm looking forward to being back on track.
  

• I have finally told people who are most important to me about my next big life project. I can't tell the blogsphere because it affects my work and I don't want someone to connect the dots from my work to this blog to me. This world is smaller than you think. I got nothing but support, however and that felt very good.

Aside: Betty White is performing on William Shatner's roast on Comedy Central and she is ROUGH and HILARIOUS! Raunchy and mean and offensive...and she gets away with it because she's in her 80s and looks so cute and sweet!

• I went to a Boz Skaggs concert last week. It was a glimpse into the world of appropriation. Boz is a white guy that has fever for the flava! All his music is R&B/soulesque as heard through Muzak. He mumbles all his lyrics like he's skatting. And of course he had the requisite full-figured, black, back-up singers. His audience was filled with middle-aged white people who truly believe they are hip because they dig Boz' music. And they proved their hipness by squeezing their middle-aged bodies in white pants and see-through tops. Or combed out their chest hair to peek through their gawdy-colored Hawaii shirts. It was surreal. It didn't help that his opening act, James Hunter, was this white, British dude who was born 40 years too late, in the wrong country and the wrong race. Luckily, James was good at being Sam Cooke.
  

Another aside: Farrah Fawcett is Loca!

• I saw Step Up this weekend with my sisters. The dancing in that movie was amazing, though the movie was filled with horr-e-ble acting and the cheeziest lines ever uttered on screen. However, something wonderful came out of that viewing...Channing Tatum. He is sooooo hot in that movie, it became difficult to watch. He got finer as the movie went along. I want to know everything about Channing. I've already found out he's been in other movies I had no intention of ever watching. However, now I have to see them because he is in them...it's that deep. It helped that his scenes were the only ones that didn't seem like an after-school special. I Heart Channing! And all you have to do is see Step Up to understand.
  

• I am going to spend this weekend and all of next week going to the Judy Holliday retrospective at the Walter Reade Theatre. I saw Born Yesterday on TV a few weeks ago and fell madly in love with her. I can't wait.
  

• I was all worried about what I treat myself with for my birthday. It was between a massage, new running sneakers, getting my hair cut, or paying off a credit card. I am very proud of myself that I'm not trying to do all these things. I know it's cheezy, but I really would get a thrill over paying off a credit card. I told you Single Ma influences me! I am trying not to be all work and no play, so that I don't act out. But I think my birthday present to myself will be the Judy Holliday film fest. Thoughts?

I think that's it. Gotta go to bed.

Why Isn't Barack My Husband?

Doesn't he know I would happily move to Washington to be by his side while he makes important decisions for our country? Isn't he aware of how I would greet him every night with his favorite drink, a home-cooked meal, all while wearing a negligee? That I would gently stroke his head while he tells me his frustrations with the Beltway Bureaucracy? Alas...

I'll have to settle for the Barack Obama podcasts. Yes, my friend...he has a podcast that you can download from iTunes. They are short and intimate...like he's talking just to me! Seriously though, he talks in plain English about life in Washington and how Congress is or is not dealing with the issues of the day.

The best thing about these little chats is that he gives concrete examples of how he's dealing with said issues. He talks about the process of getting a bill passed, about ideas he has for education reform, etc. Real, tangible ideas. Can you imagine?

The Worst Movie Ever

I am watching the worst movie ever! And it's a shame because Joan Cusack and Kim Cattrall are in it. It's called Ice Princess and it is horrible. Michelle Kwan makes a cameo and I even feel bad for her. This is some of the worst writing I've ever heard. Lines like, "One more thing...skate with your heart." I feel bad for the actors in this flick. And they wonder why our youth is going to shit...it's because they are making movies for them like this one!

Addendum: It's Saturday afternoon and now I'm watching A Cinderella Story with Hilary Duff. I officially feel sorry for all 'tween and teenager girls. Not that life isn't sucky enough at that age, but now they are subjected to crap movies like these two! At least this movie isn't bad enough to dull Chad Michael Murray's hot self. He's yummy!