Sunday, August 20, 2006

My Sunday Musings

It's official. Sunday is my musing day...I'm always contemplative and introspective on this day. Often I am sad/depressed on this day, but I've learned to just ride the wave.

So what am I thinking about this Sunday?
  • I'm thinking about the almost violent reaction I felt when I read that Single Ma was dating someone. I don't know this woman at all, yet I feel so connected to her because she has helped me with a huge part of my life. She wrote a post about wanting to start another blog about more personal matters, including her new beau. I don't know why, but a huge wave of jealousy rushed over me. It didn't seem like Single Ma had time to date! But, then again, I don't know anything about her life. I know this isn't the reality, but it feels like everyone has something real happening in their love life except me. You know what I want for my birthday: to fucking be at fucking peace with the fact that I am fucking alone!
  • I'm getting a 7% raise, starting in about 10 days. I did the math on what it means to my biweekly paycheck...and it doesn't mean that much. But I want to use this to revamp the way I work with my money. I'm going to start reusing a budget again in September, writing expenses down, stuff like that. September will also be the first month in a long time that I'm not catching up on late payments to my mortgage...first time I'm admitting that. Falling behind on my mortgage has really screwed with my credit score, so I'm looking forward to being back on track.
  • I have finally told people who are most important to me about my next big life project. I can't tell the blogsphere because it affects my work and I don't want someone to connect the dots from my work to this blog to me. This world is smaller than you think. I got nothing but support, however and that felt very good.
Aside: Betty White is performing on William Shatner's roast on Comedy Central and she is ROUGH and HILARIOUS! Raunchy and mean and offensive...and she gets away with it because she's in her 80s and looks so cute and sweet!
  • I went to a Boz Skaggs concert last week. It was a glimpse into the world of appropriation. Boz is a white guy that has fever for the flava! All his music is R&B/soulesque as heard through Muzak. He mumbles all his lyrics like he's skatting. And of course he had the requisite full-figured, black, back-up singers. His audience was filled with middle-aged white people who truly believe they are hip because they dig Boz' music. And they proved their hipness by squeezing their middle-aged bodies in white pants and see-through tops. Or combed out their chest hair to peek through their gawdy-colored Hawaii shirts. It was surreal. It didn't help that his opening act, James Hunter, was this white, British dude who was born 40 years too late, in the wrong country and the wrong race. Luckily, James was good at being Sam Cooke.
Another aside: Farrah Fawcett is Loca!
  • I saw Step Up this weekend with my sisters. The dancing in that movie was amazing, though the movie was filled with horr-e-ble acting and the cheeziest lines ever uttered on screen. However, something wonderful came out of that viewing...Channing Tatum. He is sooooo hot in that movie, it became difficult to watch. He got finer as the movie went along. I want to know everything about Channing. I've already found out he's been in other movies I had no intention of ever watching. However, now I have to see them because he is in's that deep. It helped that his scenes were the only ones that didn't seem like an after-school special. I Heart Channing! And all you have to do is see Step Up to understand.
  • I am going to spend this weekend and all of next week going to the Judy Holliday retrospective at the Walter Reade Theatre. I saw Born Yesterday on TV a few weeks ago and fell madly in love with her. I can't wait.
  • I was all worried about what I treat myself with for my birthday. It was between a massage, new running sneakers, getting my hair cut, or paying off a credit card. I am very proud of myself that I'm not trying to do all these things. I know it's cheezy, but I really would get a thrill over paying off a credit card. I told you Single Ma influences me! I am trying not to be all work and no play, so that I don't act out. But I think my birthday present to myself will be the Judy Holliday film fest. Thoughts?
I think that's it. Gotta go to bed.


The Rover (aka K Lance) said...

I really like the Sunday notes, actually. You should do it on the regular...

Vaslav said...

if I may butt in, I don't think you need to be at peace at being alone - forever. Maybe it's just right now in your life is a time that you need to develop a strong relationship with yourself and become who you want to be (see your future plans, etc.) There is no reason on earth why someone as beautiful, smart and funny as yourself can not find someone you love and who loves you. So,if can you live making yourself content without the validation of a partner, it seems that the universe often will drop one in your lap when you are least expecting it. I spoke with our friend James about this and he said that he had, after going through a number of neurotic relationships, he basically gave up on finding happiness with another person. After a year or so, he met his current - longtime -partner. Passing up unhealthy relationships was a good thing for him, he really got to know himself, and although it was lonely, I think he had to learn how to evaluate how he deserved to be treated. In other words, not so longwinded, I am asking you to see this "alone time" as a positive thing for the time being, not necessarily a lifelong situation! Kisses to Ella xxx

Maura said...

I recently had a brief stint of dating a few people. Each time I had a second date -- FEAR WENT THROUGH ME!

I love the first dates. And the second dates are nice. BUT BEYOND THAT!

I realized that once you go beyond that -- a real relationship might form. And form quickly. There's so much more to do before I concentrate on a relationship.

We're probably at very different stages of our romantic lives (or lack thereof!) and therefore of different mind-frames...

but, it might help to remember that while one might find it's a long time between relationships -- once that new relation is sparked -- it tends to move full-speed ahead -- AND FAST.

I say live everyday enjoying your singledom!

As Fiona Apple says, "if you don't have a date, CELEBRATE!"