Sunday, April 23, 2006

My 100th Post... this one right here. I didn't realize it until I logged in to talk about how painting my fingernails makes me happy. I just finished doing so and now I feel good.

Now I feel like I should take this opportunity to reflect on blogging and the power of the post. I don't really have anything deep to say. Twice, a blog has helped through difficult times. The act of giving light to my dark thoughts weakened their power. I talked about my suicidal thoughts here in a relatively anonymous setting; it made it easier to talk about them to my friends and family. Now this blog is helping me face my financial demons and explore new parts of myself. It's also helped me meet new friends and reconnect with old ones. It's good stuff.

On another note, I'm going to court on Thursday to defend my right to have Ella in my apartment. There is no clear right and wrong, but I feel confident in my case. Ironically, I only felt confident after I spent the afternoon in the apartment building where I used to live with Ex. My friend who's a lawyer served as a sounding board for me and she lives two flights above his apartment. So I had to go to her yesterday and to discuss the facts of the case and learn about the rules of court. I had an anxiety attack as I walked to the building. I took care myself, however, and the attack went away as soon as I saw my friend. I'll let you know how it goes.


Kelly said...

Congratulations on #100! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so eloquently and candidly.

You and Ella will be in my thoughts on Thursday. I'm glad that your friend was able to advise you and answer some questions for you. Also, congratulations on managing to get through being in ex's apartment building. That's huge.

Hang in there.

Melissa said...

NO! L. Britt, this is uncool. Oh man, OK, whatever happens you'll figure it out, but the bad stuff won't happen, so you won't have to deal with that. I'm rambling. I'm just out of sorts about it. I'm going to call you. Like now.