Toni Braxton Was On To Something

Ella and I go for a nice long walk earlier tonight. The air is cool and crisp. The sky is wonderfully deep blue and clear at the same time. As the evening air first hits me, I take a deep breath. I realize it's the first one I've taken in days. Ever since I got a notice of eviction because of Ella, I've been breathing shallow-ly.

Today I spent all day in court. Most of the day was spent waiting, but it was worth it. I came into court nervous, but prepared. It didn't go at all the way I expected, however, the lawyer representing the Board was nice...though I didn't trust her as far as I could throw her. She told me that she was impressed with the documents I prepared. As soon as I started to present my side of the story to the Court Clerk, he recommended that we try to settle.

The case has been adjourned until June. The lawyer and I are supposed to try and work something out, but Ella gets to stay until we do...or until we go to trial.

So, tonight I am able to breathe again. And when I do, I cry. Because the idea that I would have to give Ella up kills me. I know that I sound a little kooky when I say this out loud, but I love Ella so much. I don't know what I would do if I had to give her up. She has made me so happy and I am grateful that she's in my life. I know fighting for her has given me confidence and helped me heal old wounds.

I know it's not over, but I'm going to keep fighting. Ironically, Ella gives me the strength to do so.