Since this post, my conflicting feelings have subsided and it is with a clarity I have never known that I know this is the man for my life. We tell each things we have never told another person; we are planning for a future neither of us had imagined. I don't just feel love from him...I feel support, passion, interest, awe, respect. I adore getting to know him...even the parts that annoy me. It is like reading the most fantastic book ever...where you are hungry for more but you don't want it to end.
But that is not the point of this post.
I already sense a shift in my thinking, especially financially. We've spoken of our lack of money management skills. He's told me he's quite content having me control the finances. Though I first balked at the idea, I'm growing more excited by it. Money management has a different level of responsibility now; I'm kinda digging it. We want to travel. We will probably have to finance our own wedding since we're both of a certain age. We don't want our children to feel the stress that comes from struggling. I don't mind taking more control. It perfectly aligns with my personal goal for 2011.
So, I've become quite a creative tightwad. We go out for drinks, but we cook at home more. We find cheap ways to go skiing/snowboarding. We are establishing vacation funds. Saving money has never been so much fun.
It could be argued I should have had these clear goals before...and I did. But they weren't as exciting as they are now. I am creating an emergency fund so we can afford time off if I have to move for a job. I am saving for a Caribbean vacation to an island neither of us has ever been.
One would think getting in a relationship means that you spend more money. Perhaps the difference is our age...we're both in our mid- to late-30s, so our priorities have shifted. And we already know that our lives are intertwined; my decisions affect him and vice versa.
What a wonderful feeling.