Too Funny Not To Share

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Ah Google...You Are So Wise!

Google's got this thing where you can make a personalized homepage. So when you type "google.com," instead of it leading you to the plain white page, you get to a page that you created. There are a bunch of things you can put on it: games, news stories, comic strips, etc. You can also put a daily horoscope from Tarot.com on the page...which I have done.

I'm not usually a person who pays attention to signs. I know that I am very much my birth sign, but I have no idea what it means to be an Aries or a Pisces (Teehee! I originally spelled that word, "Pieces!"). Nor do I know what it means for me to interact with one. But...I have to say, it is uncanny how on the nose my horoscopes have been.

I was going to share my horoscope for today in detail and explain how it pertains to my life, but as I was typing, the advice sounded so generic out loud. Regardless, the advice is completely apropos to what I've been going through lately, so it felt good to read it...and kind of eerie.

My Summer Resource

For some reason, I feel like this summer in New York is an important one...I want to make the most of it. Usually, I go to work, come home and watch TV. On the weekend, I wait to see if anyone wants to get together to party at night.

Not this time, gosh darn it! This city is choc' full of activities every single day of the summer. Things I can do with friends, things I can do by myself, things I can do with Ella. The only problem is, I will have to be very proactive. The events are not going to call me up with a personal invitation. I have to go out and get them. So that's what I'm going to try to do.

It's already started working. I went to the opening night of a cool gallery exhibit in the East Village featuring female graffiti artists, I have plans to go to the MoMA this week, and there are two emails in my inbox advertising cheap and/or free theatre tickets.

Another thing I've done is purchase The Summer Issue of New York magazine. This is truly a resource for summer in the City. It's got tons of ideas, places to go, things to see and food to eat on every budget level. It was surprised how much cheap and free things it offered. It's also better organized, easier to read and has more wit than Time Out New York. I'm carrying this issue around with me all summer. The 'zine has already told me about a different place to see the fireworks on July 4th.

Minnesota is Where Buddha Lives

I saw A Prairie Home Companion tonight by myself. I wouldn't have minded seeing it with someone, but I'm glad I saw it alone. This way I could gush unabashedly.

One can't explain what the movie is about; there is no real plot. It just details the last taping of a radio show and the characters who make it special. Nevertheless, it is still about so much. Death, the power of art, family, the way of life that is uniquely Minnesota's. Garrison Keillor, playing "GK," has a very zen attitude toward everything. I think he's meant to embody the essence of Minnesotans. When a character dies and he refuses to acknowledge it during the broadcast, a character screams at him, "What if it were you? Wouldn't you want to be remembered?" He calmly responds, "Yes. But I don't want people to be told to remember." Maybe it's just me, but that line hit me right to the core.

Another thing about this movie is that you get to see great actors at work. Any actor in a Robert Altman film better have his/her shit together...that is doubly true for this film. Altman's style relies heavily on improvisation. Combine that with the subject matter - a radio show that relies heavily on improvisation - and you better be a pro. My favorite times during the film were watching two dynamic actors just being their characters with each other. Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep were amazing together! It was part of Lindsay Lohan's character to absorb all that was happening between those two, however you could see Lindsay the actor paying attention as much as her character was. Woody Harrelson and John C. Reilly were having so much FUN together...it was joy to watch!

It is quite an existential movie...Virginia Madsen plays an angel of death...but it was also very funny. The funniest moments were when the movie was celebrating and poking fun at Minnesotans. The way its people skirt right over uncomfortable or painful topics, the way everything can be solved with some sort of food, the VERY dry sense of humor.

Rhonda, after listening to her niece read a poem about suicide by sticking a hose in the tailpipe of a car: I'm not letting you borrow my car anymore!

Watching this movie felt like the radio show was giving me a big hug.

Time to Retire

I would love calves like the dude in this picture.

I went running this morning at around 7:30 am. I had to do it that early because the heat becomes unbearable if one waits later in the day. I see people running in the middle of the afternoon and I always wonder...why? The entire time, I kept hearing, You're a fool, L. Britt. You should be in bed. Fortunately, I was able to turn up my iPod to drown out that nagging voice, and I finished my run.

I think it's time to retire my sneakers. My shins, ankles and knees are feeling the road in a way they shouldn't. I have to admit, I'm feeling a bit blue about this. These are the sneakers that I ran the Marathon in. They are the first sneakers that I was professionally fitted for. These are the first sneakers I bought in a specialty store, and not at the local Modell's. I am very proud of the fact that I've put in the requisite miles to wear them out, but I will miss them.

Goodbye, my dear Sauconys... :(

Don't Mess with Me...I'm Crrraaazzzay!

It's official...when I have PMS, I am crazy. I know it is very taboo for a woman to admit this out loud, but I cannot deny it. Let's see all the ways I have lost my mind in the past two days:

1. I've seriously considered quitting my job, for no reason. Just because "I'm sick of it all." And I actually like my job.
2. I started and cancelled a membership to Match.com.
3. I got into an email fight with someone off of said website because I didn't want to call him. I didn't want to call you, Henry, because you are UGLY!
4. All I wanted yesterday for dinner was McDonald's and a bottle of wine. I got neither.
5. I feel fat. Not just untoned, not just bloated, but straight up fat. Not only that, but I feel like I will never be in shape again, no matter what I do. I did exercise this morning. See the Kathy Smith post below.
6. I stopped seeing a guy I had seen a few times. Actually, that was for the best. He told me from the jump that he wasn't looking to commit to anyone and we only hung out once every couple of weeks. I thought I would be cool with that...until he discovered how great I am, of course. I wasn't cool with it at all, so we went back to being friends.
7. I feel depressed. I am learning that this is probably going to be a part of my PMS from now on. I'm not going to freak out about it too much. It always passes.

So, does anyone have any natural remedies for the PMS crazies? I'm not down with any prescription meds, but a nice tea would be lovely.

Why Isn't Barack My Husband?

Doesn't he know I would happily move to Washington to be by his side while he makes important decisions for our country? Isn't he aware of how I would greet him every night with his favorite drink, a home-cooked meal, all while wearing a negligee? That I would gently stroke his head while he tells me his frustrations with the Beltway Bureaucracy? Alas...

I'll have to settle for the Barack Obama podcasts. Yes, my friend...he has a podcast that you can download from iTunes. They are short and intimate...like he's talking just to me! Seriously though, he talks in plain English about life in Washington and how Congress is or is not dealing with the issues of the day.

The best thing about these little chats is that he gives concrete examples of how he's dealing with said issues. He talks about the process of getting a bill passed, about ideas he has for education reform, etc. Real, tangible ideas. Can you imagine?

Please Watch TV Tonight!

I know it's the first day of summer and instinct is telling you...Go outside! Eat and drink overpriced cocktails in an outdoor cafe! But I beg you...

DON'T DO IT!

Instead, watch a thrilling and beautiful documentary tonight on PBS entitled, Beyond the Steps: Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater.

Actually...I don't know first hand that it is thrilling and beautiful, but Tuckergurl saw it and she has a very good eye for documentary...since she is a woman who works in the medium. So I trust her unbiased opinion implicitly.

Actually...her opinion isn't exactly unbiased since she was the Line Producer on the film. Nevertheless...she is also a person who is brutally honest, so if it were crap, she would tell me. And she didn't say that at all! Instead she said it was thrilling and beautiful. And so for that reason ALONE, I am going to watch it.

Actually...it's not for that reason alone. I'm also going to watch it because I helped make the movie in a small way. Last year, when the production crew needed to get to the airport...I'm not going to tell you why. You'll have to see the movie!...I was able to get them out of a pickle and get them to JFK in plenty of time. It was a blast, and I got to eat at an Olive Garden!

So the moral of this post is...just in case you've lost track...is that you should tune into your local PBS station tonight at 8pm and watch a beautiful and thrilling documentary about the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. Then, go and drink overpriced cocktails outside.

P.S. I dedicate my use of all caps and bold lettering to The Hum Drum Chronicles.

I Heart Kathy Smith

Isn't she cute?

Actually, I dig her because of her workout tapes and DVDs. Especially the Kickboxing Workout. This workout will kick your ass and she is not that annoying. She doesn't do that, "You can do it! Keep going!" every five seconds. I've had it for years, know the routine inside and out, and I'm still sweating like a pig by the end of it. It's so good that even she gets winded! Since I've had it for so long, I've been able to pick out all the bloopers...that part is fun. I alternate this DVD with running so that I am working on muscle tone at the same time that I'm keeping my heart rate up.

If you want to really sweat...and you're single...and want a workout in your home, pick up this DVD. It will work you.

A Different Kind of Kindred Spirit

There is the kind of kindred spirit you meet and with whom you connect instantly. A person who you spend 10 minutes with and feel like you've known all your life.

Then there's another kind of kindred spirit. A person who you don't know as well as your own shadow, but instead someone who compliments you in how they are different. Someone whom don't know instantly, but as you get to know them, the more you learn about yourself. You trust them because they have insight into your life in a new, yet respectful way.

I have a friend who's like that. Though I haven't known her very long, she inspires me in such a way where there is no envy, only support. I know there are so many stories left to tell each other, and there is no rush.

She just made my weekend. We had a great brunch, shared a great deal of TMI, and came up with hilarious and inappropriate nicknames. Good times...

Saturday is a Fascinating TV Day

When I'm not ready to start my day, I roll out of bed, head to my living room and turn on the TV. And there I see the most fascinating things. Like the Rock Paper Scissors Championship. People from all over the country compete in Las Vegas for $50,000. On this show, they have commentators, a host, a umpire, even an audience that screams and cheers like they are at the NBA Finals. I've never seen anything like it. I don't really have any words for it.

Hope is Exhausting

Did you know that I don't discuss my love life - or lack thereof - with my friends anymore? One of them told me once that she doesn't know how to react when I tell her about men I'm interested in; she doesn't know how excited she should get. I can't blame her really...with my track record, I wouldn't trust my taste in men either.

I've decided not to talk about "potential" men until I know something is really happening...whatever that means. I feel sad that I can't gush...it is after all one of the best things about being a woman...but I don't trust myself any more than my friends do. Whenever I open my big mouth, nothing comes of it.

I mentioned in a previous post that I felt like I was losing hope in finding someone special. What I didn't know was that it would take so long for hope to die...I wish it would hurry up already. It's tiring to be cynical and interested at the same time.

Proof that L. Britt is Getting Old

This weekend was whirlwind. The thing is, it really wasn't that whirlwind. It just felt like it. Which is a clear sign that I'm getting old. The facts that I was on the road from Thursday to Sunday, that I was in three cities in one day, and that Ella's luggage was bigger than mine didn't help. However, the entire time that I was sleeping in a strange bed, I kept thinking how I couldn't wait to get into my own. By the time I got home, I had never been so happy to see a couch in my life.

I came to the realization that exercise is no longer an option for me. If I don't want to have a body like my mother's...a lovely woman, just on the rotund side...I am going to have to do something that actually increases my heart rate almost every day. There is no other option. Cutting out soda...which I have done...is SO not enough.

I went to bed at 10pm last night. I finished watching the season premiere of "The Closer"...such a good show...didn't really want to watch anything else, so I went to bed and was glad about it.

See what I mean?

A Really Cool Website

My mom sends mass emails all the time. They are usually cheezy inspirational messages that blackmail you into sending it out to 10 other people or your life will go to hell. My first instinct is to delete them.

However, this morning the email was only a link to a website and instructions to move the cursor around and click your mouse every once in a while.

So I went to the website and did what I was told and it was a lot of fun. Check it out!

Happy Birthday, Mr. Nelson!

Today is Prince's birthday. The radio station I listen to during the day played Prince almost all day and on my way home I listened to all the Prince I had on my iPod. It was fun to honor him in this way.

It's also a great relief. I remember always wondering who the great pop musicians of my generation are. The definition of a great pop musician to me is one who will last through generations; the way that we still listen to The Beatles, or Jackson 5, or The Supremes. I've always wondered if my grandchildren will listen to the same music that I listen to. Britney Spears...maybe not. But Prince...most definitely.

L. Britt's Embarrassing Comment #236

I loved "Dawson's Creek." Even when it "jumped the shark," I still watched. And I'm telling you, if anyone wants to see chemistry on camera...just watch Katie Holmes and Joshua Jackson interact as Joey and Pacey. They were hot together.

There. I said it.

What Makes a Movie Great

I own In Her Shoes. It's not a movie I meant to own. I mean, I liked it when I saw it in the theatre, but most of the films I own are ones I loved when I was a teenager. But this flick I got as part of a 2 for $20 deal at a Blockbuster store.

Anywhoo, I watched it this afternoon because I was sick of watching the "Benson" marathon on TV Land. And it's a really good film. It's subtle and funny and touching. It's really well-written and excellently acted. I know this is true because Cameron Diaz is so not annoying in this film.

This film affects me on a really deep level. I'm not quite sure how or why, but I do know it's not for the obvious themes of the movie. But I was able to figure out one thing by watching the special features that come with the DVD.

What makes this such a good flick is what makes a strong play or a fascinating piece of writing: detail and specificity. Listening to Curtis Hanson talk about how he filmed Cameron Diaz early in the movie or how he shot a particular scene or even how the art on the walls of the apartment were chosen proved to me that he cared about being specific. Every detail was specific and consistent to the characters and to the story. He created a world that was complete and there was nothing superfluous to pull one out of the story.

So now I'm glad I own this movie.

"Happy Birthday to Me!"

Yesterday was my mother's birthday. She sounded more mellow than I think she's ever been in her life. In years past, her birthday is all about what presents she's getting and how that translates to love of her. When I can't get her a nice big gift...like this year...I always feel guilty.

For some reason this year, she didn't seem to care. One of her daughters made her breakfast and another one brought home pizza for dinner. She got a phone call from me and a email that expressed my appreciation for her this past year. I think that's about it. And she sounded perfectly content.

I have been pondering what made this year different...and I think I figured it out. Instead of expecting the perfect presents from other people, my mom gave them to herself. For instance,

• She didn't do anything on her birthday except rent a movie. She didn't run errands, didn't shuttle people around, didn't "catch up" on stuff around the house. She just relaxed all day.
• She made phone calls. She called all the friends that she hadn't spoken to in a long time, instead of waiting for them to call her. The joy comes from the conversation, so who cares who picks up the phone first. One of her friends said, "Happy Birthday! Thanks for calling!"
  
• She exercised. Today she did a 10K walk for charity with some people she works with. It's her second long walk and she really enjoyed taking care of her body and taking exercising seriously. She had done research on proper walking technique and was sharing her knowledge. I talked to her immediately after and she sounded great.

My mom continues to inspire me...even on her birthday. Happy Birthday Mom!

Poetry Does Not Belong Everywhere

It's Saturday morning and I'm in the process of getting myself motivated to do something on this incredibly gray day. So I'm watching Disturbing Behavior on TNT...very inspirational.

Anywhoo...during one of the commercial breaks, I see a commercial for the Lincoln Zephyr. It's got a sleek black family driving around Harlem with glimpses of the neighborhood during the Harlem Renaissance. So it's the whole modern classic thing, old with the new...blah, blah, blah. The disturbing part is the soundtrack uses some smooth jazz underneath a reading of Langston Hughes' poem, "Dream Variations."

That's just wrong, you know?

Dedicated to Single Ma

Single Ma is my inspiration on all things financial. She is also fiercely independent and isn't afraid to show it. So this post is dedicated to her. Go say hello to her...she just got a promotion!

Anyways...it's getting hot outside these days. For a dog, this can be mighty uncomfortable, especially for Ella. See how much hair she has?

So I looked into getting Ella groomed. The prices ranged from $45 to $65 for a wash, a full haircut, and an ear cleaning. Now, I wash Ella myself once a month and the vet taught me how to clean her ears once a week. So I'd be paying up to $65 for the haircut. I was going to do it, but it was bugging me. But today, I decided to do it for myself! I went to Rite Aid and bought a pair of clippers for $15. I covered my living room in newspaper, used scissors to cut her hair short, then used the clippers to shear down the rest.

The result: I gave Ella her first haircut since she's been with me. I nicked her a couple of times, but for the most part, she was a trooper. She has the attention span of a 4-year-old, but she's a trooper. Here are the after pictures. I think it's not bad for a first timer, if I do say so myself.