I'm much better at getting out of bad situations with men faster. When I see red flags, I am bringing them out into the open much sooner. And I've gained the strength to walk away when those flags keep waving. I am amazingly proud of myself for that.
But that is no longer enough. Now I want to stop being drawn to men with red flags in the first place. I just want a man who has the time and the energy to really get to know me, to figure out if he wants to be with me. I honestly don't think I'm asking for too much, and yet...
I'll run by my therapist tomorrow.
2 comments:
It's been a while. Just stopping by to say hello.
OK this may be a crackpot theory but I heard it on the radio yesterday...the problem may not be that you are drawn to red flag men, but the question may be who is drawn to you; or better, what state you are in at that moment when someone is drawn to you. If you are feeling vulnerable, post-breakup, say, some controlling men are drawn to that. If you are at your "best self" stage, a different type of guy will be drawn to that sense of security. Perhaps if you are in a "I want change, new things" state, someone who also wants to make a change (Mormon?) but needs a catalyst is the one drawn to you. In other words, make yourself the happiest you can be and take care of yourself, and non-red flag man will be drawn to that sense of wellness.
Just a thought...
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