For me it's very weird that I am single and not actively looking to change that fact. I've been single before...I am most definitely NOT a serial monogamist...but I've always been looking for a relationship. Wondering if the guy that I'm talking to on the subway is the ONE. But I haven't thought that way in a long time.
There are many reasons for that. First, the anti-depressant I'm taking is supposed to kill sex drive. Though mine is not dead, it is at least on life support. My libido is not guiding my actions at all anymore. Second, I have been working on filling my life with things that make me happy...see my New Year's Theme post...and that actually takes up a lot of time. I've got Ella, my piano lessons, my writing and sign language classes. Third, this medication makes me tired. Last night I fell asleep at nine pm, woke up at eleven to walk Ella, then went right back to sleep. I don't have energy to be "on the hunt." Fourth, I've traditionally been attracted to men with whom I feel unfulfilled in some way. I used to feel that not being completely happy is part of compromise. I'm sick of that. Until I trust my instinct again, I'm laying low.
To be honest, I read posts by Melissa, Sweet Aphrodite and Home Girl talking about how happy they feel to be with their respective dudes and I have a twinge of jealousy. I have exes, now friends, looking to settle down...not with me...and that's a tad upsetting. But I'm not upset enough to do anything about it. I start to think about it, I get upset, I stop thinking about it.
So this is weird for me. I'm happy, but it is definitely weird.
On another note, the painting above is entitled "Independent Woman." It's by an Israeli artist named Michal Ashkenasi. I dig her work. I found her website by using Google's image search...gotta love it! Check her out.