Monday, April 17, 2006

Weekend Thoughts

I don't really have much to post...I've been feeling out of sorts lately. Can't really say why. I'm noticing disappointment, both by people who disappoint me and those I disappoint. In this city especially, it seems to be perfectly acceptable to make half-ass plans and then not follow through. To say you'll call and then don't. It's annoyed me for a long time, but this weekend I had a long look at myself and realized that I sometimes do the same thing. I decided to be more selective and decisive in the plans I make.

A good friend of mine may have found her soulmate. It was totally unexpected and kind of inconvenient, but it's happened nonetheless. She is an AMAZING person, so I am crazy happy for her. But I'm also angry at the fact that life isn't fair. There is nothing on my horizon at all, and my friend has to clear men out of her path to get to the one she wants. Everyone says that when you're not looking is when it happens, but I feel like I can't afford not to look, you know?

I'm feeling kinda blah...luckily it's time for bed. And I get to start over tomorrow.


Kelly said...

I hope that when you wake up in the morning, the blah feeling is gone or at the very least, lessened.

I can completely relate to having those conflicting emotions about good things happening in the lives of people you love while not seeing those same good things happening in your own life. It's a very confusing and disheartening feeling.

Take good care of yourself.

The Rover (aka K Lance) said...

Good for your friend. And the whole "not looking" thing is really about letting go, you know?

And you can afford not to look.

L. Britt said...

You're right, K Lance, it is about letting go. It is just so incredibly difficult to let go of attachment. Which is why Buddhism is a simple religion, but not at all simplistic.

Melissa said...

For the record, K Lance is right - you don't need to look. You're way too cute to search for men. Way.

summer said...

L. Britt, get out of my head. I just read this page of your blog from top to bottom, and could relate so much (except for the dog/court thing which sucks). I've been thinking about blogging about it. Perhaps I will. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They helped me process my own.