Sunday, November 12, 2006

"Scared Shitless"

I'm not going into details because of my superstition about cursing new relationships by talking about them. Also, this post may not make much sense because I am still trying to make sense of it. But I am now seeing a guy whom I really like. It's been about a month. He is a guy that I would have never even considered had I met him in a lounge or on the subway: he's really tall, very thin, and he has long hair. He's also much younger than me. Luckily, I got to know him as a person through a very rigorous "getting to know you process" via an online dating service. Now I really dig him.

Since then, we've been several dates and talked about our families, our futures, our pasts, our politics. He knows all about my life-changing event and he also knows I don't like his hair (we've decided not to talk about it). He makes me laugh and I make him dinner.

I'm completely scared shitless. We just spent a great weekend together and there was a moment when I got so scared of my feelings for him that I almost kicked him out of my apartment. The last time I felt this way...something real...it was with Ex...and that turned out horribly, see the beginning of this blog. Just when I think that I have finally worked Ex out of my system, his effects keep lingering on. Luckily, this new guy is a big fan of dialogue, so we were able to talk it out.

This isn't official by any means, but we have fun when we're together and our eyes are wide open. So we are just going to keep hanging out. And he is going to be wonderfully patient while I work out my fears.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Seems like a fair assessment of the situation.

U Know Who

Kelly said...

I'm sending you lots of good energy, L. Britt. Keep breathing, try to relax and enjoy each moment.

Anonymous said...

my dear you are worth being patient and waiting for. but first, what kind of long hair - mullet - braids - scary 80s band - dreads? this could be important...
vaslav

The Rover said...

Talking is good. And I'm glad that you didn't kick him out - that would not have been good.

Quel said...

See the past for the lessons it taught you not as something that's bound to be repeated. Dialogue is good. Relax. Keep enjoying yourself.

Why does my comment sound like a bunch of fortune cookies?