Wednesday, February 07, 2007

"And the seasons, they go round and round. And the painted ponies..."

They get into a fight. They resolve the fight, but he says he just needs a little patience while he settles down. She thinks he's speaking in code and just knows that he's about to break up with her. She pulls away. He sees her pulling away and thinks she wants to break up. He pulls away. She doesn't hear the usual sweet nicknames he uses and sees that as confirmation that he wants to break up. He stopped using the sweet nicknames because he thought she wasn't in the mood to hear them because she wants to break up.

And so on and so forth...

Thank goodness they established a foundation in communicating openly and honestly. Ultimately, it's what stopped the cycle. No one is pulling away anymore and the lovey-dovey nicknames are back. That foundation got tested, but it held firm.

1 comment:

vaslav said...

bravo to you both - communication is key - listening, really listening, and not being afraid to bring uncomfortable things up. Actually, although it was devised for political means, non-violent communication is taught in workshops and is also used by couples, employees/management, etc. Now why can;t we get the losers in the White House (and beyond)to give it a try?