So...I've begun the process of saying goodbye.
I have one week left as a New Yorker. Next week, TM and I head to Colorado for a vacation and then we're driving back to the East Coast and via a roundabout cross-country trip. Though we'll be back in Brooklyn to load up the truck, I doubt we'll even spend the night. That's why I consider these to be my last days in the city.
I know I'm not going to live in this city again. If TM and I stay together, we'll go West after I graduate. If we don't, I'll go where my career takes me...just not here. I wasn't kidding when I said I'm done with New York. I mean, I'll visit and all that...but that's about it.
TM and I had a really fun going away party a couple of weeks ago. It was there that I was able to have private moments with some wonderful people and say farewell. I also haven't had those opportunities through the actions of others. I've thought about it and, to me, those missed chances are the same as goodbye, just in a different way. Clearly, if connection can't be made at this point, then it's not going to happen in the midst of a doctorate program hundreds of miles away.
Perhaps I'm being dramatic...as I have been wont to do...but I've realized there are certain people in my life I don't expect to ever see again. This saddens and angers me a little bit. But I am reflecting on how I contributed to this expectation and choosing to focus on all the friends that have braved long film shoots, sinus infections, and last minutes changes in venue to show their love. It is Quite Appreciated.