Pre-script: This is more for me than anyone else.
I need to state for the record that TM is not a bad person. He is not the man I thought he was, but he isn't the man he thought he was either. I'd imagine that's harder for him to deal with than it is for me.
TM decided that he wanted other things more than he wanted me. Of course, I wish he realized this a year ago before we moved in together, before we made plans together, before we talked about how we would raise our children, before I began to see my future with him. And of course, I wish I saw his struggles with commitment for what they were and not romanticized them into some sort of symbolic journey to make his way to me. I wish he listened to me as much as he listened to his aunt. I wish he talked to me as much as he talked to his best friend. I wish he would have given couples' counseling a chance. I wish....
I digress. TM...for now...is not Ex. He is not leaving me for another woman who he had sex with while we were together. He is not saying this is all my fault. He has treated me badly during this process, but he trying not to...see earlier post...and I haven't always taken the high road. I know that trying not to disrespect me isn't enough, but it's something.
I am very angry and hurt and sad now; that is what it is. But I have to remind myself that I did love something about this person, and that wasn't a mistake. My love is never a mistake, even if other people treat it as such.