I survived the weekend, but I am pretty much in a state of rawness and numbness. The feelings I'm feeling are so intense that I can barely feel them. For example, I just spent several hours watching episodes of "South of Nowhere" on the n...I mean several hours. Hours I had scheduled to do work. Now it's midnight and the thought of going to bed in an empty house again scares me to death.
I miss him so much that just thinking about it makes me short of breath.
But someone just told me that I'm brave and fearless, in that I continue on despite the fear. So I'm just going to take her word for it, try to finish this short paper, and go to bed.
1 comment:
Vaslav said
yes you did! survive the weekend, hopefully the worst of what you'll have to go through. we are all pulling for you and know you are brave to tell him to leave early, even though it must have been hard.
as for the intense feelings you mention, it sounds like that trigger kind of thing you were describing earlier - the flood of emotions - being scared - of course analyzing what you are going through doesn't always help - but I know you are good at figuring things out!
try not to be scared - you are doing the right thing in a bad situation, and you will have many happy days and years ahead of you
xxx
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