Thursday, March 02, 2006

Gross Story..but Funny!

I'm warning you now...this story is gross. If you don't want to read something gross, go to another blog and don't come back for a couple of days until I post something else. If you do want to stay, don't say you weren't warned.

It all started with my upstairs neighbor. Last week, he started listening to a religious radio station...very loudly. So loudly that I heard every word that was said on the radio station quite clearly. It was like the speaker was aimed downward into my bedroom. Maybe he was trying to tell me something, but I'm a Buddhist, so I didn't get it. I went upstairs to knock on his door and the sound was so loud he couldn't hear my knock. I got the super to talk to him, but all he did was turn it down a notch. Instead of hear every word clearly, I only heard the low tones very clearly.
I wrote him a letter asking him to turn down his music at night...no response.

So I commenced to wearing earplugs. They weren't the most effective, but they were comfortable because they were springy and would fill in the shape of my ear. I had them every since I lived in Harlem where the street noise there was unbearable.

I wore these earplugs for about four nights in a row. Every morning I would take them out and put them on my nightstand. Two nights ago, the upstairs neighbor wasn't playing any radio at all. So I left my earplugs on the nightstand...just in case. Last night...no sound again. So I didn't even think about my earplugs.

This morning, I am taking Ella for her morning walk. She stops to do her "business" and I notice bright pink and yellow in her stool. I first freaked out thinking that she had some weird diarrhea mixed with blood...a major cause for concern in a dog. But upon closer inspection, I discovered that those weird colors had a particular shape. That's right, my friends...the bright pink and yellow were the shape of my earplugs.

If you recall, I mentioned that Ella likes to chew gum. Apparently, she found my earplugs and since their spongy texture was similar to gum, she decided to chew them until she swallowed them. And out they came on the other end.

All I could do is laugh. It was too late to scold her...it's hard to effectively punish a dog long after the bad deed...so I just picked up and we walked on. And you wanna hear how much of a dog mom I've become? I thought...thank goodness they went through her. What if they had gotten stuck somewhere and caused her problems?

6 comments:

Melissa said...

Kristie and I once knew a woman who had a dog with an interesting snack habit. Let's just say that on more than one occasion she'd find whole - whole - pairs of panties in her pooch's "business". So rest easy, a couple of earplugs won't hurt Ella a bit. ;)

P.S. I love it when Bible thumpers ask me on the train if I know Jesus. I either say, yes he's my neighbor, or sure I do, I'm Jewish!

The Rover (aka K Lance) said...

That was much less gross that I thought it was gonna be. I thought you were going to discover some horrific scene upstairs. I can handle a little stool surprise...

SunshineMama said...

Just in case this does ever happen again and let's just say it does get stuck and cause some wretched side effects: a little, little bit of apple cider vinegar in her water (helps clear things out and detox). Be sure you do this with some close monitoring though...you don't want the urgency to hit her while you're not there to take her out. Trust me, I'm the queen of dog sickness home remedies because my "dog-daughter" was a garbage disposal in the beginning and would injest any and everything.

Bright-Eyes said...

ha!

But relaly, Bible thumping aside, you own your place, girl. Tell him to turn his shit down or you will inform the board. Forget the super.

I had to do that here. You should never have to wear earplugs in your own home.

Bright-Eyes said...

ha!

But relaly, Bible thumping aside, you own your place, girl. Tell him to turn his shit down or you will inform the board. Forget the super.

I had to do that here. You should never have to wear earplugs in your own home.

The Rover (aka K Lance) said...

Oh yeah, I forgot...you've been tagged.