WARNING: This post is a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am angry rant.
For the second time in as many days, a man has told me to "calm down" in response to me asking for clarification or to finalize plans. When I have plans to see a movie after work and I need to schedule time to go home and walk Ella and I'm about to walk into a meeting where I will be incommunicado, asking for details at 2:30 in the afternoon is NOT unrealistic and does NOT require anyone to tell me to calm down. More than anything, telling me to "calm down" does the exact opposite! It pisses me off to no end!
I have been to years of therapy to know the following is true: asking for what I need does not make me a crazy person. I am a woman who needs a plan. I have worked very hard to not need a plan every minute of the day, or a month in advance for seeing a movie...THAT sometimes is unrealistic. If you can't provide me with what I need, that's one thing. Say that. Don't make me the bad girl for asking for it, however.
And why did both situations involve a man? I could make a horrible over-generalization about a man's fear of committing to anything, but I won't.
What I will do is get some new friends who aren't afraid to be clear in their communication or in making plans.